


Butterfly Souls

by library_of_lcl



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 23:35:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30063285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/library_of_lcl/pseuds/library_of_lcl
Summary: We survive to live. But when someone special is taken away where does that leave us? Only surviving. Grief takes away a humans ability to live. Our souls become Butterfly Souls for a while. Very fragile.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

I can smell the sweet smell of turkey from the kitchen and the gravy as it’s walked into the dining room. I sit down at my usual spot at the head of the table and look in front of me. To the other end of the table. Of course the chair was empty. There was no one to sit in the chair, no placemat, no glass, no meal.  
But there should have been.  
Everyone forgot, at least that what it felt like to me. They must be thinking about it but no one had talked about it or mentioned it in days. Mentioned her.  
It’s seemed like Christmas was normal, like we were a family. But we can’t pretend to be a family when we aren’t one. A chess set isn’t complete if a knight goes missing.  
You can’t play the game. We can’t ignore her forever. We can’t ignore that she’s not here, sitting opposite me, begging for more orange juice. Protesting that she won’t eat her vegetables and trying to put them on dad’s plate with out him seeing. I even started to miss her constant nagging about when we could open presents. I smiled a little but then remembered.  
I had got her the exact toy she wanted this year, saved for it myself. But she couldn’t- she wouldn’t be- she can’t-  
I felt a cold tear rolling down my check and I stared as it formed a small clear circle in the gravy. Another joined it.  
“Mellisa, are you ok?” It was my mother; I stayed looking down, I didn’t want to spoil the mood. But they were all thinking it right? They couldn’t just ignore the lack of her?  
“In...”  
I couldn’t even say her name.  
My Gran placed her hand on top of mine, “She’s in heaven now” Granny Mabel tend to keep quiet about this, wanting to pretend it never happened so this was unusual. “She’s happy”  
Words couldn’t escape the prison of my mouth, causing me to just nod. Nothing I had to say would make it better. Nothing would bring her back.  
“I’m sorry” I excused myself from the table, walking to my room. Our room. Her bed was made perfectly and her stuffed animals resting on her pillow. I stared for a while.  
The toys were as dead as her.  
Lost. Abandoned. Waiting.  
I whispered to them like they were alive to, “she’s gone”  
Oh,  
Fuck.  
I didn’t want to think any longer. It was Christmas; I couldn’t ruin Christmas for those who could forget for a day. Eyes closed. Ears deafened.  
Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way, oh what fun...  
An ironic tune for the current situation but it was the only thing to stop my tears from falling. It was Christmas; I couldn’t ruin Christmas.  
Keeping the song on repeat, I left the dead house. Walked down the dead street. Didn’t let one thought be kept in this dead brain.  
The song would start to pester me usually but now, now I couldn’t care for it. It was just noise. Listen to it. Focus on it. Forget.  
Forget her for just a while. She won’t mind.  
I owe her my thoughts. I sat right on the icy sidewalk, taking my headphones off letting them rest round my neck. Silence.  
A dead town.  
A dead girl living in heaven.  
She’d love the snow. I hope she sees how pretty it looked that Christmas.  
Let yourself think. Let yourself suffer.  
Giving in hurt.


	2. Chapter 2

She was too young, way to young. A life ripped from earth to soon. Just a child waiting for Christmas to come. Just a nine year old excited to get home from school. Just a daughter taking the wrong path. Just a sister getting lost in this maze of a town. Just an innocent soul coming across the wrong kind of person. Just a child slipping away in front of your eyes.  
There was things we could have done then. But nothing we can do now.   
Let ourselves feel. Let ourselves hurt. Let ourselves give in.   
Silently. On our own.   
We stopped living as soon as we all watched her die.  
We still aren’t living, only surviving.   
Dead inside. Our bodies decaying internally while hers decayed externally. I may die soon. I feel fate will be kind to me I just have to be a little patient. Dead house, dead street, dead town, dead girl.   
I looked down to the snow that day, imagining how my blood would sink into it. If I could just paint the street red to be with her. If the same man that destroyed her could save me. I kept thinking. I have to die soon. I will die soon.   
Jingle all the way...  
My headphones were back on my ears, the blood was gone from the snow. I turned my head to see a boy from my class smiling to me. He was saving me, for now. Kristin from science class, inviting me into his small, run down flat on Christmas Day. I don’t think the embarrassment or guilt of that moment ever hit me. I’d given in to only one emotion.   
I’d taken on side of my headphone to behind my ear just so I could hear him. “Have you eaten? Do you want a hot drink or-“  
“I drink tea with milk and one sugar”  
I had to. As much as I hated it I had to let him look after me.   
“I never knew you had sugar in your tea”  
He knew what was wrong with me, it was a small town, everyone knew. It was also obvious he was avoiding talking about it. “When muma lets me yes”  
He nodded while watching the kettle boil on the stove, “did you eat?”  
My body was already eating itself, what was the point? I didn’t care wether I was plump or looked like a skeleton. It didn’t change anything. She was still gone and I wasn’t afraid of death anymore. I craved it. “I’m full from dinner”  
He turned to me, looking me up and down. “If you were full you’d be blotted Melissa, you told me that before”   
It was the time to make excuses, “I didn’t eat that much and it was hours ago”   
“Please” he looked straight into my eyes now, “please don’t lie to me”   
“Ok, I didn’t” I said it calmly, it was nothing I needed to cry about.   
Kristin was interested into going into med school so I was expecting another of his lectures on why starving is bad. But that day he stayed quiet and handed me my tea. I never realised the seat built into the window sill when I first walked in the kitchen until he lead me to sit there. It had a view over the park which I never saw from our flat as it was on the opposite side of the building. Back then I was seeing it as the place my sister was happiest. Later on I’d see it as the place of my first kiss under the slide. But that day I wouldn’t dream of such things. I had three distractions now, the taste of the tea, the sound of the festive tune and him.   
“Stay here, my mum is going to start cooking Christmas dinner when she gets home from work”   
I just nodded, it was the simplest thing to do.


	3. Chapter 3

Normally it never snowed longer than a few days in winter here but this year it stayed. I was walking into school with Kristin then us both having to kick our shoes against the wall to get the snow off. I liked to watch it fall outside from my seat at the back of the classroom. I imagined my sister Ingrid running in it then snowflakes getting stuck in her chocolate hair. The only time I smiled. The only time I wasn’t in pain. I wish it could snow forever, so I could be ok forever.   
But we were still surviving, never living.   
Everyone thought I was living because I forced a smile. They thought because I had Kristin I was fine. Because, “broken girls can’t love anyone”  
And I said I loved him. So I was fixed.   
But I was still stuck staring out that window instead of interpreting a graph. I was still in a dreamworld when my friends were laughing so loud it hurt my ears. I was still watching snowflakes when she was being lowered into the ground.   
The snow retreated fast. Overnight. Streets once covered with a perfect white blanket now lined with green.   
“The snows gone”  
“It means springs coming darling” Granny Mabel was trying to keep me surviving. But she shouldn’t be concerned about me. At my very worse I was still better than her. She’d leave soon too. Papa said it will happen just like how the snow left. Calmly, while we are all asleep. Granny doesn’t deserve this but she told me to let it happen. Just like we let ourselves grieve. “Fate chooses our paths for us, it can be cruel sometimes but you need to let it happen”  
Fate was real, and it hated us. Granny Mabel was taken to the hospital as the flowers started to bloom. I told her how beautiful they were. I found Ingrid’s favourites and led them on her grave. I found Granny’s favourites and led them on her bed.   
It felt like a similar action.   
“Melissa I’m lucky, I’m going to die to live”  
I knew what she meant but it hurt, like a deep cut through my soul. She would see Ingrid soon, my sister would have some company at least. But I wish it was me and not her. Granny needed to be here, for muma and papa’s sakes, for their morale. I didn’t need to be here, please, let me see her. This earth was sickening me, to many senses at once. No peace. No happiness. No Ingrid.   
I longed just to quickly destroy this body to be free but it was happening so slow. No one understood, they were all keeping me in this prison. I didn’t want to be praised for finally eating. BEING ALIVE WAS NOT A GOOD THING.   
It wasn’t. I’d be happier dead. I’d be happier with her.   
Nothing happened. Time was frozen here, like the snow had taught the sun how to freeze the land. A dead town for the living.  
I watched the living a lot, sitting on Kristin’s windowsill watching all the children play at the park after their school day was over. The lucky ones. Those children were safe, the murderer was locked away now. Plead insanity. The bastard.   
But nothing will happen. Nothing does happen here.   
Nothing but death.   
My family surviving until we meet the end. The town living until they pass away.   
Living. What a beautiful thing. Of course I was envious. Being in this state was not a choice. But something that was a choice was...  
Soon.   
I’ll do it soon.   
I heard the snap of my fathers fingers in front of me, pulling me back into the real world. “I asked you when you last ate?”  
What was the point in lying? If I get sent off to that hospital for the mentally sick, I wouldn’t care. Nothing would change. She wouldn’t come back.   
“Tuesday”   
It wasn’t shock he expressed; he was just upset. It was Friday.   
“Do you want to kill yourself Mellisa?”  
Wasn’t it obvious? Didn’t we all want to-  
“I want to be with her papa”  
He sighed, “listen Mellisa, she doesn’t want you there with her just yet, she wants you to love your life”  
“We aren’t-“  
“Your gran doesn’t know what she’s talking about, we are living!”  
He didn’t listen to his own mother. He hasn’t ever since Christmas; he hates the things she says.   
“If you think this is living then I’m concerned”   
I knew what was coming now; I talked back. My cheek hurt for over a week after that day, stinging to the touch. Then more purple appeared on my body until it was hard to move at times. I led on my bed for days, head buried in a pillow. I was waiting.  
But it wouldn’t come.   
I held my breath until I passed out. I tightened a belt around my neck until I threw up. I avoided food until my parents forced it down my throat. I let my father punch and kick me until I bleed out. I kept taking pills until I coughed them back up.   
A cycle.   
Attempt after attempt like it was a hobby. But nothing worked. God kept saving me. But I didn’t think of this as saving, this world was torture. If god wanted to save me he’d let me go. I can’t carry on.  
Please.


	4. Chapter 4

Pray. Please. Our father, who art in heaven, save me. Properly. Bless me with death before summer blooms. Please.  
A dead church. Adults at work or looking after young children. Teenagers all at school. I stopped going. I need to disconnect; I don’t want anyone to miss me.  
Why can’t god see? I need to go.  
“God never listens Mellisa, you have to take things into your own hands” it was Pete, a known atheist. Who knows what he was doing in a church. He was an outsider to the town, ignored for his disbelief in god. But I wouldn’t do that; he wasn’t a threat, just a little odd. “I hate to inform you but god isn’t going to bring your sister back”  
“I know, that’s not what I’m praying for”  
“So what are you praying for? Your gran’s health to improve?”  
I didn’t like the mention of Granny; I didn’t like to think about it. No one knew what would happen. “Death”  
“Who’s death?”  
I sighed this time, “mine”  
I was finished with the conversation, so I turned my back, walking out the church. But it wasn’t long until I was sitting in that same spot, wearing the same black dress from Ingrid’s funeral. Another eulogy. Another casket. Another beautiful soul, gone.  
I didn’t cry. I didn’t talk. I didn’t look anyone in the eyes. For a week.  
All I did was try the same things over and over. Some way had to work eventually but this was turning into an impossible task. Blades, pills, belts, hidden.  
I tried stealing my boyfriend’s cadet belt but he came out the bathroom to early. No one understood.  
I needed to die. I needed to.  
It wasn’t just a want anymore, it was a need.  
Granny Mabel, Ingrid. I need to see them in heaven. They just slipped away, one quickly the other slow. I don’t know what was worse.  
Let me go. Let me live. If I die, I will live again. Please. Set this soul free. I’m trapped in a dying body that seems to be invincible. I can feel and see every bone in my body now and I can’t find a spot that’s not tinted purple or scared red. I shake and my vision is blurring. This body is dead. But this isn’t heaven. I’m still in the same dead town. I’m not surviving. But I’m somehow still here.  
I’m as weak as a doll. Please. God, save my soul. This “life” is a cage. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~slightly graphic description warning~

Kristin had left to grab food from the store a miles away. I had time. This flat didn’t have things under lock and key; I could take whatever I wanted. I walked into his bathroom, checking the cupboard under the sink. There it was, bleach.   
Extremely corrosive. Keep out of reach of children, if consumed seek medical help immediately, consuming will cause death  
Finally. Something to save me. Set my soul free. Kill this body.   
I didn’t hesitate any longer and drank it like it was water.   
Burning fire. Tearing, ripping my throat apart. My mouth felt like it was gone. I was dying. I was finally dying. Ignore pain. Swallow. Swallow. Swallow.   
Gag.   
The liquid was all over the floor, me sat in the middle. The worse possible burns in my stomach now. With every vomit I felt bits of my mouth fall out. Chunks, sat in a pool of my own vomit. Then blood, the metallic taste mixed with the plastic tasting fire. I felt something in my throat and gagged what felt like 100 times, each time feeling the burn of the bleach. Finally it came out. It was my tongue. A big chunk of it. More came and the fire never stopped. I wanted to scream but it hurt too much. Vomit after vomit. Fire after fire.   
KILL ME NOW. PLEASE, ANYTHING TO STOP THIS.   
I screamed for no one. No one was here, NO ONE COULD SAVE ME.   
Stomach, throat, the walls of my mouth, it was feasting, eating away at me. Vomit. Vomit. Vomit. Blood. My own tounge and mouth on the floor.   
Save me. Kill me.   
I woke. I lived.  
It still hurt, this wasn’t heaven. Someone came to speak to me, a doctor. He said he saved me but there was something wrong. I tried to speak but no words escaped my mouth. It hurt to even try.   
The doctor took a breath. “You lost most of your tongue, it may take a while to regain your speech”  
This was no normal hospital. A hospital for the mentally insane, a place for the mad. A jail for the emotionless.   
I was here to “recover”. But how? I was just forced to listen to people, I couldn’t reply. I didn’t even want to, no one here was worth talking to. I knew how to sign now; they made me learn. If I was in heaven I wouldn’t need to. I wouldn’t be trapped in a dying body. *Let me out. Let me go.* I tried to sign to staff. Only a few knew sign language.  
All the girls here had their own issues of which I had to hear all of them. Over and over.   
They never heard my story. They were just stealing glances to see how I attached my feeding tube and how I swallow pills. Over and over.   
I was just know as the girl who has no tongue.


	6. Chapter 6

I found a way to live. For a short while when I read books. I wasn’t here, I was saving the world, I was proposing to my lover, I was solving a mystery.   
But only while I was lost in a book. Only then.   
A girl sat opposite me just as I was about to slay a dragon.   
“What you reading?” She seemed nice, I saw she smiled more than the others. I wonder how she got here.   
She was pretty.   
I tried signing to her though I still wasn’t that good, *fantasy book*  
“Oh you’re deaf?”  
Before I could shake my head she had walked away, I went back to my book.   
I looked for her the next week but couldn’t find her in the day room. I had a note, explaining I was mute not deaf.   
I was alone again; this wasn’t the best place to be alone. I heard screams a lot and cry’s. I was the only silent one. It was all noisy here and I never got used to it. I wanted to go home, to Kristin.   
I shortly realised I didn’t want Kristin I just wanted control. I was recovering here and I hated it. I gained weight and my bruises were fading. But I still wanted to die.   
Nothing changed in my head; no amount of praying could change that.  
We were told god isn’t proud of us and that anything we’ve done to harm ourselves is a sin. We were all sinners.  
I didn’t like that, I didn’t want to end up in hell.  
We were here to recover, if we did, they said we’d go to heaven. God forgives.   
As much as I believed it, I never payed attention. Everyday I just found myself staring at the girl. I found it strange that she didn’t didn’t pray. Finally, I caught her after church but before I handed over the note she lifted her hand. She started using sign language with me. Her name.   
B E T T Y   
Betty. I smiled, awkwardly handing her the note. “Oh...”  
*sorry I tried to tell you* I knew she couldn’t understand completely by her face.  
“Ah no it’s ok, what’s your name?” she signed as she spoke even though I could hear perfectly; it was cute. I felt less alone.   
I then signed my name a couple times to her as it took her a while to understand.   
“Mellisa?” I nodded with a smile. “That’s pretty!”  
Talking with her is always going to be slow but I can be patient. I taught her new words by writing them and then signing to her. Betty could draw well and sometimes drew the the positions of my fingers. Other days we just sat beside each other, drawing and reading. We found it fascinating to listen into the patients and nurses conversations no matter how boring they were. Soon enough we knew each other’s life story as we wrote letters to each other. Betty had schizophrenia and she used to not be able to tell the difference between reality and her imagination. But she said being in here helped. I told her everything, I even opened my mouth (even though it still hurt), showing the state it was in. She helped when I wanted to end everything again. She helped calm me down. She sort of helped me see why I shouldn’t go.

I felt alive. And that wasn’t all down to books now. It was her.


	7. Chapter 7

We watched summer start to die together, for the floor to be covered in orange. I always liked fall, I liked the leaves under my feet and being able to see all the branches of the trees. Betty said she hated it even though her birthday was in October. It was September 12th, Ingrid’s birthday. She would be 10.   
I didn’t want to think about it but my brain wouldn’t let me forget.   
“She’s celebrating with your granny Mabel love” her fingers tapped on my thigh. A habit that made us both feel better. “Heaven’s a happy place for them”  
Betty didn’t believe in heaven. She wasn’t religious so didn’t pray at church. But she was still telling me this; it was sweet. I realised that being atheist doesn’t make you strange or a devil worshiper. They were just a human as us.   
I felt her head on my shoulder now, “Mabel will be looking after her, and they’ll be looking down on you now hoping you stay here, it’s not your time yet”  
I believed it. Betty was helping more than any therapist and I didn’t know why. I felt differently towards her, different to anyone else. It felt strange, wrong. Whatever it was, it was making me live.   
I got a phone call the next day, my boyfriend. I though it was just a call for him to say he missed me and that everything was ok back home but he had something else to say.   
“Mellisa I’m moving across country to med school, I’m really sorry, I wish we could make it work but…”  
I could tell he got overwhelmed by tears. I replied to him via my interpreter, *I’ll miss you Kristin, I wish you luck*  
I wish I said more. I wish he could hear my voice again.   
He wouldn’t be there when I got home, I have two people left, my mother and father. I didn’t want to live with them, more specifically my father. I didn’t have the money to move out, I was 16, I didn’t know what to do. I cried.   
I hadn’t shed a tear since the winter. Now I let so many fall then. I was alone. I was so alone. If I could just join them up there.   
Here there was nothing to use. It angered me. I had no control. Nurses came when they figured out what I was doing. There was nothing to throw or break so I was punching at the bed frame. Over and over. Control, this was controlled.   
They called Betty to sit with me. After they left we led together; she held me. I felt safe. Calm. I heard a tune.   
Jingle bells jingle bells...  
It reminded me of Ingrid so much now, but it didn’t hurt as much now. The song brought me out of reality and out of my body. Into a safer place. I used to think it was god giving me a glimpse of heaven but I grew to seeing it as granny Mabel and Ingrid letting me rest for a while. It was their song.   
Some time passed and I eventually fell asleep to the looped tune. Betty stayed the entire night; it must have annoyed her. She was there when I woke up, stroking my hair. “You ok?”  
I sat up so I could sign to her, *better thanks to you*  
She then sat up with me, moving her hands to sign back, *I’m doing my best to look after you*   
We had to go to breakfast, then church. I watched her eat as I rested my head on the table, I was still tired. I hadn’t feed myself yet but she made me sneak of with her before breakfast ended to attach my tube.   
“Mellisa?”  
My head perked up to her then she used sign language.   
*when I leave, promise me to look after yourself*  
Leaving. The thought had never even crossed my mind. *when?*  
She sent me a bittersweet smile, *don’t worry, just promise me*   
*promise*   
“I love you Mellisa” then she smiled for real.   
That’s something you say to a partner? Like romantic? Or sometimes family say it. I’ve never heard that from a friend. Are friends meant to tell you that?   
Am I meant to feel like I want to tell her too?   
“I’m- I’m sorry” her tone made me sad.   
She then went to sort out my tube and let me stand.   
She wasn’t facing me so I pulled her arm for her to look at me. I signed her name just so she would look at my hands.   
*I love you*  
She then leaned to kiss my cheek, both our faces turning red. What was this? It felt sinful.   
I went to the library, picking up a modernised bible. Homosexuality. That’s what this was. A sin. A sin I’d go to hell for. I wouldn’t see them.


	8. Chapter 8

I distanced myself; she noticed. She tried to sit by me so I just ignored her, it was mean but I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t risk not seeing them. Family.   
I was reading when she approached me, tapping my shoulder. “Hey Mellisa are you ok? You seem distant I’m worried”   
*sorry*  
I pulled out a letter I had wrote explaining everything. How I wanted to be close to her but I couldn’t and explaining how I needed to ensure l could see them again.   
“Mellisa, you know the bible was interpreted wrong?”  
I shook my head, this was all new to me.  
“It only says a man should not sleep with a young boy, it was translated into English wrong, being yourself isn’t a sin sweetie”  
I smiled at her, I could scream in that moment. These feelings weren’t wrong.   
*can we go outside?*   
We walked outside, any other couple would hold hands but she wanted to make sure I could sign. It was sweet, she was sweet. I was lucky. We found a bench out of the view of nurses. I cuddled into her, holding her waist. She was my favourite person on earth. “Mellisa where are you going when you get discharged?”   
I had to sit up, *I don’t want to go home*   
She nodded, “I thought so”   
*when do you leave?*   
She tended to sign when she couldn’t say get the words out, *a week*  
I cuddled into her again, I didn’t want to communicate. I knew I wouldn’t get discharged any time soon, they wanted to start speech therapy.   
“Honey, I was thinking you come live with me, I live in New Orleans your close aren’t you?”  
I spelt the town out for her, *Prairieville*   
“I can ride my bike to you, you are 16 you can legally move out”  
I wish for that plan to work, *a bike? That will take a long time*  
“A motorcycle silly” she chuckled and ruffled my hair. “I live with my older sister you’ll be safe from your dad there, sound like a plan?”  
I nodded with a smile. I would be saved, I just had to endure a few months without her.   
*we need to make this week the best ever*   
She kissed me. She kissed me and it felt like a paradise. This was new and a little scary but I liked it. I loved it.   
*I love you*   
She smiled, *I love you too Melissa*   
Betty was mine. I was hers. There was no labels on it but we were happy now. I found something to live for.


	9. Chapter 9

Her final week at the hospital was enjoyable for us both, she gave me many drawings, including ones of me. We enjoyed the fall here it grew prettier that week. Everything seemed prettier then. She looked prettier after that kiss. And nurses said I looked healthier. But then it all ended to quickly. Her discharge day came. Her last letter had her number at the very bottom for when I was out and could find a telephone box.   
*wait for me*   
She smiled, *of course baby, hold on for me ok?*  
And then she was gone; I was alone. I started my speech therapy which didn’t show much hope at first. I wanted Betty to hear my voice, for all the effort she went through learning a whole language for me, I’d like to learn to speak for her. Mentally, I was ready to go. But I wanted to speak. I longed to.   
Winter creeped in and not one word had left my mouth, only slight sounds. It didn’t snow. Last year the stopped everything, left time to grieve. This year it wouldn’t come. But it got better. I spoke. I wasn’t completely understandable but I spoke. Hope was there. Then it was crystal clear in front of me, a discharge date. The 21st of December, just 3 days. I’m going to see her again. I was counting down the hours. 72 hours. 48. 24. 12. 2.   
0 hours. I was walking straight out into my mums car. She smiled wider than she ever had; it had been 6 months. I felt bad about leaving but I would only be an hour away. I took a breath in, ready to speak to her. “Muma I meet someone”  
She gasped, “oh baby, Mellisa you can speak!” She cupped my face, crying her eyes out.   
“Yes muma, I can now”   
“Hang on you said you meet someone? Is it Betty?”  
How did she know? “What? How do you-“  
“You wrote your address on a letter she came to visit a month ago, I’m driving you to her today”   
I teared up now, mother was ok with it all. I was going to see Betty, to speak to her for the first time. I was going to be away from the dead town. I was going to be away from my father.   
But now as I was standing in front of the house I was nervous. She was behind this door. A new life was behind this door. I knocked as I bit my lip. I heard someone run down the stairs like their life depended on it. Then she opened the door. She looked so healthy now.   
“Mellisa” she hugged me so tight. “Come in come in”   
She walked me into the lounge leaving my mother to talk to her sister in the kitchen. The first thing she did was kiss me, for a while this time. We wouldn’t be told off here.   
She smiled to me, “you did it”   
“Because I love you Betty”  
She was first shocked but then overjoyed. “You really did it!!”   
I was then holding her in my arms, “I’m sorry it took so long” she sat facing me again.  
She cupped my face, “Don’t ever say sorry for recovering well again”   
“You want me to shut up? I only just got my voice back” I said it with a giggle, she was so much easier to tease now I had a voice.   
She made me look straight in her eyes even though my gaze kept dropping to her lips, “don’t ever shut up, ever” she then let go of my face, talking softer now, “your voice is the prettiest I’ve ever heard”   
I blushed much more than I ever did in the hospital, I could now. We could live. “I really do love you Betty, thank you, you saved me”

Granny Mabel, Ingrid, I’m not just surviving anymore, I’m living now.


End file.
